My mom has one story she always keeps telling me, and I do remember the scene quite well.
I was still a child and we were standing in our house yard, looking out the fence towards our neighbors houses. Then I turned to my mom and asked, “Mi, pobre ba ta?” (Mom, are we poor?)
My mom asked me why I suddenly asked this to which I said, “Kay wala ta’y awto.” (Because we don’t have a car.)
Kids say the darndest things, don’t they? Mom finds this very amusing. I do too. But really, you can’t blame me.
Last Saturday I was walking along Pasong Tamo road when I saw a sign outside the Oriental Gardens condominium building advertising an open house.
Now a condominium is at the top of my dreams list. So, curious as I was, I went inside and asked one of the condo sales people about the prices of condos. He was very accomodating and treated me very much like a potential customer, though I knew I didn’t look like one in my t-shirt, jogging pants and flip-flops. He even showed me their model condo, completely furnished, as well as their facilities area (with the swimming pool, playground and gym).
I absolutely fell in love with the place — the cozy furniture arranged in a small space, the magnificent view of the city with all the twinkling lights.
At that moment, I once again felt like that child looking over at her neighbors. Here was my dream, something I yearn for with all of my heart that I could cry from the sheer desire. But in my hand was the paper that would make me ask my mom all over again, “Mi, pobre ba ta?” A paper that says 2 million pesos. Sigh.
I know that the 10th commandment says “thou shalt not covet they neighbor’s goods” and that envy is one of the seven mortal sins, but if you envy without being bitter about it, wouldn’t that push you to work harder, so that someday you too would be able to have all those things? I mean, if not for the envy, what would inspire you to succeed? You would just be content being a poor bum.
I can actually afford a car now, if I wanted to, though I would have to get it on a loan from my company. Still, my childhood envy is an armslength away. So maybe someday, who knows? That condo would be within reach too. I just have to keep gazing at my neighbors. And use the view to propel me to work hard for my dream to come true.