Whenever officemates see the pictures of my ex, they always have the same reaction – laughter, a look of incredulity on their faces, then the question: “What on earth did you see in him??”
Usually I just stutter, “Um..love is blind?” or else shrug, because in all honesty, after all these years, I had forgotten what exactly I did see in him.
But last night, I remembered.
We did not end on good terms six years ago.
By “not good” I mean I nearly flunked my midterms, which just so happened to be a week after the breakup, because I spent the nights sobbing myself to sleep instead of studying.
By “not good” I mean it made me lose two inches off my waist in a week because I lost the appetite to eat anything but apples.
By “not good” I mean I became such a man-hater and heartbreak-fearer (if such a word exists) that I haven’t entered into another relationship since then.
By “not good” I wanted to forget him and made it a point to delete him from my cellphone and I haven’t spoken to him since I left our hometown, even though I have every other College classmate’s number.
And yes, I did forget.
But last night, I remembered.
It started with a simple “hey I’m here in Manila reviewing for the BAR exam, can we guys have a get together some time?” The first few texts were straightforward and almost business-like, with both of us throwing around dates and times and places for this group reunion.
Then he cracked a joke, which I did not get at first. But it felt so familiar. Then he sent another text to confirm that it was a joke.
And suddenly, I remembered.
I remembered that before the pain and the bitterness, there had been laughter and companionship.
I remembered that before the accusations of “you don’t understand!” there had been an amazement that here was someone who shared the same wavelength.
I remembered that before the tearful fights, there had been playful sparring with words.
I remembered that before the cold war, there had been conversations that lasted till the full moon faded from the night sky.
And as I responded to his barrage* of text messages it was then that I realized that finally, at long last, I could be his friend. Finally, at long last, I had completely forgiven him.
*By “barrage” I mean two more text messages coming in before I could respond to the first one. By “barrage” I mean at one point my cellphone could no longer receive any messages because its memory was already full.
“You know, I think this is probably the longest texting spree I’ve had in a long while,” he said, five hours and 50 or so texts after his first point of contact.
“Yeah me too,” I said. “Shouldn’t you be studying or something?”
“Nope. Sunday’s my day off,” he said. “But I’m sure you’re supposed to be sleeping or something.”
“Yeah I’m about to nod off in awhile,” I said. “So if I don’t reply it probably means I fell asleep on you already.”
“Okay. I’ll see you on Sat. Goodnight!” he said.
Finally, after six years, I will get to see a long lost friend.
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