While emailing with a friend about her current heart stories, I was reminded of another friend’s blog when she was in a similar situation a long time ago. So I dug up her old blog and decided to post a couple of her entries here just because they give me mixed feelings of wanting to laugh and cry at the same time, and also just because I miss her a lot.
Climbers vs Jumpers
How come jumping requires more guts than climbing? Siguro kase with climbers (hi nga pala kay Romi Garduce), on the way up, they have all the chance in the world to go back kapag biglang merong kalamidad, bagyo, snow, lahar, mudslide, bumbay, snowman, polar bear, eskimo and falling rocks on the way. Not like jumpers (tao yan di yung damit). When they jumped, they jumped… period. No turning back. Bahala na si Batman.
Kainis kase now I’m falling. Will he catch me or will he just watch me fall?
At Least I’m on the Ground Now
Ganun yata talaga, when you finally hit the ground. You can’t help but think why the hell did you jump? Well asking won’t do us any good… standing might. I don’t really have any definition of what I feel now, basta ang alam ko lang, masakit, period. Masakit na makita na he is not about to catch you… na you took it all wrong… na yung “I love you” pala nya e kasingkahulugan lang ng “pabili” sa tindahan at “para po, sa tabi lang” sa jeep. At lalong masakit pag nakikita mo yung sarili mong hoping that he loves you parin kahit alam mo na ang lahat ng ito ay isang kathang isip lamang. Haayy… at isa pang haaayyy…
I jumped already and there is nothing I can do about it now. Sayang lang di nya napansin na seryosong tumalon talaga ako, akala nya nagpapatawa lang ako.. na hobby kong ma-inlove pag wala akong magawa. Pero kung alam ba nya would it make a difference? Would he act differently?
I’ll start walking now…
She really has a gift with humor, huh? Too bad she discontinued blogging after 6 entries because she had forgotten her password (how typical), and possibly ’cause she found no reason to write anymore. The good news is, after writing these blogs, someone else came along and picked her up after seeing her fall. He helped her mend her broken heart (or bones, if we must keep with her jumping off the mountain analogy) and she does not hurt anymore. I guess we can all learn a lesson and get a little hope from her experience.