Letters to Our 16 Year Old Selves

Note: I first posted this on May 8, 2010 but have decided to keep it evergreen as more friends send me their own letters. The latest ones will be placed on top. If this inspired you to write your own letter to your 16 year old self, you may leave the link to it on the comments section and I will copy and post it on this blog. 😉

My favorite Singaporean writer Jason Hahn wrote this article and inspired me and my friends to write our own letters to our 16 year old selves. Here we go.

April 2013

Skinny under-cut,

Hurrah! I can see you pounding that frail chest for getting that haircut like your gang. You are one of them now. Darn, it was hip to be shaven underneath that bob. For once, you were not afraid of Mamang’s scolding for looking like an “adik-adik” although your gaunt frame can already be mistaken for one. You will be getting off high school and it would be great to look “cool” in your class photos. You wouldn’t want to be that odd one out. After all, that day will be your day, your favorite teacher would say teary-eyed. First advice: don’t be so touchy. You ought to look tough. You should swag that hairstyle to character.

After the bravados have calmed down, you will worry but still hope that by sheer miracle, you can go to college. That will not come unfounded and you will feel down. Reel on it a bit. You will ask high heavens why you and your family, of all people, were made to endure these strains. But do not wallow in self-pity. I know it’s easier said than done and that not too many people will understand. Second advice: do not indulge in too much despair and discouragement. Not going to college like the rest of your class is not the end of the world. Gather yourself up and gear up for battle. If life is a battle for survival, start doing 50 push ups tomorrow morning. Just kidding. Read books, do the chores, cultivate your backyard, open a sari-sari store – just do something worthwhile. You will learn a lot that you never will at any university.

I know you’d still want to be an architect, or an engineer, or an accountant. You might even heed your uncle’s advice and be a teacher instead. Use your time to pick one course. Third advice: weave a dream even if you will do so while on top of a sampalok tree watching over your flock of ducks or atop the carabao while herding it. Be grand with your dreams, it’s the freest thing to do. Do not lose hope that dreaming is all that life can ever give you. Maybe one day, all the universe will conspire to get you that desire.

Be intent that one day the gods will hear your prayers and you will go to a university. Ain’t that great? That university! You will meet a lot of great people there and some will become your greatest friends. You’ll find the best teachers not only in class but in life’s lessons too. Life will not be easy, money can barely cover the essentials, but trust that when the universe conspires, you will get a P100 loan from a classmate, which can put you through a week. Again, do not lament. Take pride in the thought that God gives His toughest battles to His bravest soldiers. You are not one lame duck.

Do not be too stiff and uptight. I know the going gets tough often but do not think that you carry all the burdens of the world to not have fun. Life is not always a struggle – remember that. Fourth advice: enjoy your youth. Goof around, party even a little – just don’t do drugs. Street-smart is a lot cool so learn the ways of the street. But always remember that “smart” is part of the adjective. Send that love letter, laugh hard, learn the guitar and sing your heart out. Compose poetry. Join organizations and meet a lot of friends. Just have some fun.

You will go through tests on and off campus. The grades that the teachers will give you may matter but it will be the trials which will measure the strength of your character that will build and define you. Do the right things the right way. You will make mistakes but do not commit the deliberate ones. Fifth advice: there are no short cuts in this life. You wouldn’t want one fault or two to haunt you for a long time. Regret is not a very good company and guilt will not let you sleep sometimes. It’s true that we will hold on to the lessons more dearly if these were learned the hard way, but try to avoid this pain as much as you can. You don’t want to coil with this extra baggage. Be practical but do not be foolhardy or just plain rash.

Do not shed off your sense of family. They will be the closest network of persons who will stick with you through thick and thin. Do not be too hard on yourself but keep in mind that you are “kuya”. Remember that Mamang has to rest one day from pulling the odds to make both ends meet, and just enjoy the beach or the casino. Or just wherever she wishes to be that will make her happy. She greatly deserves that.

When things seem to get hopeless and out of meaning, which they sometimes will, remember that there is a greater force that puts everything in its proper order and place – bumps, cliffs, thunders, snakes, thorny bushes and all. Just look up for directions.

This is getting long and I might already be getting to your nerves. Okay, okay. You already know these things, but a gentle reminder won’t hurt sometimes. These will do for now. But if you don’t follow some of the things I say (I know you can be stubborn sometimes), I will shrug the blame off you. But I hope you will take me seriously.

Come on, you will do just fine. So no worries, okay?

Future you,
Skinny-still but clean cut

P.S. I was just trying not to dampen your high spirits when I let you have your swag with your haircut. But trust me, you wouldn’t want to see that photo ever again with that under-cut that looks neither cute nor hip. It is awful and nasty you’d want to burn that print into ashes. Maybe, this is just the spoiler in me. And o, do not be so anxious about working at Zamboanga’s canneries just so you wouldn’t be a bum. Who knows you’d even be hobnobbing with the proprietors one day soon. So for now, it’s time to give that carabao a “HOO!!!”

April 2013

Dear Bubbly 16 y/o me,

Twelve years from now you’ll be as noisy as you are now and maybe even more. Your friends will love your randomness but others will get extra annoyed and irritated. Be mindful of the crowd in your show.

Seriously though, enjoy life! Stop being uptight sometimes. Life will not stop to let you enjoy it. You gotta cease it!

Don’t waste your time replaying “funny” memories wishing that earth would swallow you whole so you can avoid people’s look. Like how you chased your high school classmate because he shot you with an airgun but instead of catching him you slipped on that damn wet floor. Or when your funny stalker schoolmate stared at you for the whole duration of your PE class and you trying to be cute forgot the dance steps and was scolded in front of the whole class. Well, they might seem like a big deal to you now but trust me, in a few years it won’t even matter.

I’m sorry to spoil this to you now but that boyfriend you have will not be the one for you no matter how cute you think you look together. In 3 years you will meet a tall guy and you won’t mind his pimples. You will spend a while with him and by a “while” I meant 8 years. Don’t waste your time and don’t be faithful to him. One night he will break up with you and leave you for his best friend.

And oh college!!! You will enjoy the independence! Watch out for these: morning walks, sleep overs, mountain climbing, beach bumming, group studies. Yes, seriously you will love group study sessions.You will definitely get a degree. Don’t waste your time arguing with Papa about reviewing in CPAR Manila. In the end, between you and Papa, you will always win. That doesn’t mean he has no power over you, you are just his sweet little girl he can’t resist. Oh yeah I know you are teary-eyed right now, you crybaby!

I know how anxious you are of the future and how you always wish that you could have a peek of what yours will be. Don’t worry dear I’m happy right where you’ll be.

Still bubbly 12 years later,
Older You

P.S. Watch out!!! You are going to have a very close friend named Dee. If I could be you again, I better write all the interesting stuff for this purpose. One fine day, she will ask you/me to write a letter to the younger you/me…

July 2011

Dear Little Me,

As I write you this letter, I am taken back to a time when you barely know anything important in life yet. I could feel your eagerness with your almost uncorrupted perception of love just as innocent as your age. You have the ardent passion about knowing and experiencing fully what life is about and all that’s into it. Yet you seemed to be wiser than any 16-year-old person as you have already gone through a number of life-changing experiences in your early childhood years, sadly most of them painful ones. You will pass through more sharp turns and bumps as you head on to where I am now. But each trial you hurdle makes up to the strength of your character. After all in your later years, you will learn to value more the things that you worked hard for. I admire your perseverance to excel in everything you do. I understand it’s the only way you believe you can make your Papa proud and get yourself into a decent university as you want to help your widowed mother. That’s what I like about you the most – your determination to help your family someday. Don’t worry, I can tell you now – all your efforts would someday pay-off. And as you go up the stage each year to get your certificates/medals you have that voice in your heart – wishing your Papa were there to witness those moments. But just while you are smart in your academe you seemed to be so naïve yet about matters of the heart. Each day you spend long hours daydreaming about your so-called “prince”. You are blinded by the perfect idea of love. All you think about is having that someone who will fill that void your father’s lost left in your person. I can tell you’re enjoying the attention and admiration of boys your age as you strut around the school campus as if looking for some missing puzzle pieces you think will complete you. O darling, if I can only tell you now and spare you of the pain you’d have to go through in love to fully understand and appreciate it, believe me I would. Yes, you will meet a geek-looking, smart and sweet child trapped in a man’s body who you will love more than you could love anyone else less than your Mom & Dad. You will build your dreams – your world around him. Your worth will rely on him so much that you will soon lose yourself in loving him. Everything I know about love now you’ll learn for the next 12 years. And just when you think everything will soon fall into place – your dream just shatters into pieces as you are left to mend a broken heart – a broken soul in you all by yourself. But do not worry my dear – you have a loving God and His love made you whole again – as the person that I am now.

If there is one thing you will learn best from that yet another traumatic experience is that (relating to a term used in your future job): “you are not a derivative whose value is derived from an underlying asset. You are that Valuable underlying Asset – You are worth more than what you were to him or to anyone else for that matter. Always believe in God’s love and His Bests.” For now, don’t be scared to love. Because I tell you – it was worth all the lessons and happiness you once felt anyway. Someday, you will also meet someone – who will love you as much as taking care of you for the rest of your life. – this I was told to believe so and still I utter the same prayers you have to these days. 🙂

Take care,
Your 28-year-old self 🙂  

May 2010

Dear 16yo Me,

Hello there ugly dark thin girl with braces and wearing high-waisted pants! Hahahaha, you’re so ugly now, it’s funny! But don’t worry, you’ll clean up pretty well — the braces will be gone and you’ll finally earn enough money to buy decent clothes. Unfortunately, you won’t always be thin and you’ll still keep your dark elbows.

Hmmm, look around your classroom right now because after high school you really couldn’t care any less about your HS classmates. Of course, you’ll keep your bestestfriend Janice, she’ll be that something “constant” in your life as you both go through college and even through life after college. Tell her you appreciate her presence because 12 years down the road, you’ll be living in different countries and you’ll always miss her when you need someone sensible who can shake you up when you’re being unreasonable and who will scold you when you’re acting weird (Yes, you will still be weird 12 years down the road. Hahaha!!)

You’ll also be surprised that you’ll be really close to your classmate Dee, you’ll even make her your flowergirl. Ooops, you heard that right, you are now currently fixing your entourage list! Yes, you’re getting married and you’re in a frenzy to lose weight, to find the right gown design, to optimize your wedding budget, to find nice souvenirs and the list goes on. At least you don’t have to worry about finding the right groom because you will meet him quite effortlessly. I won’t tell you the whole story because I want you to enjoy it firsthand [Don’t expect him to look like Devon Sawa (your current crush hahahaha!) but that doesn’t matter because he’ll be the cutest boy in your eyes]

You’ll be leaving for college in a few weeks. It won’t be easy because you’ll get so homesick and you’ll feel so insecure about your country mouse self, but you’ll get by. You’ll meet true friends, date a handful of good-looking guys and you’ll grow up a lot. You’ll be so judgmental of your parents and your small-town afterwards but please try to tone it down a bit. Go to your parents’ room now and hug them. You seldom hug them because you’ve always felt awkward about hugging people but trust me when I tell you that nothing feels better than their hugs. Thank them for sending you to college because they will suffer financially just to make sure that you achieve your dreams. Trust me when I tell you that you have the best set of parents in the world, you really do.

Okay your current boss just popped in your room and asked “What are you doing about this case lah?” Surprise surprise, you’ll be a lawyer and you’ll be based in Singapore. I’ll let you discover how you became one and how you got to Singapore . Just a word of warning though, it won’t be easy but you’re a strong girl so you’ll get through.

I have to get back to work now. You’re a tough girl, I like that about you. But I hope you could be more kind to the people around you, practice kindness as early as now — I know it’s difficult for you to be less judgmental but don’t worry, you’ll always have your conscience, your little sister Nani (yes, the one you used to bully a lot), to help you along the way.

Love,
Older Me

May 2010

Dear Me,

Happy 16th birthday! I know you’re pretty thrilled today as Daddy plays that “Sha la la la la la, Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen” song while Mommy’s cooking spaghetti and Gelene’s poking at your cake (most of the toppings are missing already). Please cherish this moment. It may be a simple celebration and you may take it for granted now but you’ll miss them a lot after college. As you blow those birthday candles, please wish that you can have more moments with them such as this one.

I know there are times when you resent Daddy and Mommy for being very strict. Where’s the fun in being a teenager if you have a 6pm curfew, no boys and no sleepovers?! Please try to appreciate the fact that they are doing this because they care about you. You will soon be surprised to know that not all parents are as loving to their children as your parents are to you. Even some of your future friends will wish they had a father who is also concerned about their whereabouts. And believe it or not, when you’re older, your parents will let you do anything you want. I’d like to believe the reason for this is because you’ve been a good daughter and you’ve earned their trust. So just keep heeding their advice because it’s for your own good. It will keep you out of trouble. Please, please remember this especially during your college years! (Oh please do!)

Also try to be more patient with Gelene. I know she gets on your nerves and you don’t really get along but she is still your only sister. She will be needing your help and guidance more than you can imagine. You will be surprised at how protective you will be when you see her hurting. Maybe if you manage to have a close relationship with her, you can save her from a lot of trouble.

I’m happy to announce that you will pass the UST entrance exam but (ta dah!!!) you will attend CEU instead. I know you’re very, very, very disappointed about this but do remember to make the best out of every situation. If you study hard and believe in yourself more, you can still be successful. And maybe it’s meant to happen! You’ll never know, your future husband may be waiting for you in CEU! I know you love surprises so I won’t divulge more details, go find out for yourself. 🙂

Another interesting thing that I would like to share with you is that you’ll have lots of friends with weird nicknames (think names connected to cheese, cats and teeth). As early as now, do your best to identify who are the real gems among the “puwets ng baso”! Fortunately, you will have a lot of true friends and you must cherish them and include them in your entourage list. Still, you can’t please everyone and you don’t have to please everyone. Again, you don’t have to please everyone!

So before I end this letter, here are things I’d like you to remember:
1) Being a people pleaser will give you ulcer.
2) Love yourself more and be confident! There’s nothing wrong in believing that you’re special and unique.
3) Don’t pity people too much, or else half of your allowance will go to them (and you will regret it).
4) Don’t try to learn how to ride a bike until you’re 26.
5) True friends are precious, do all you can to keep them.
6) And last but not the least, you don’t need to worry, you will find “The One”.

Love,
Me (10 years older)

May 2010

Hey you! Yes, you!

Happy 16th birthday! I don’t actually remember what happens today. What I do know is what you’re feeling – you’re dreading graduation day because you don’t want to be parted from your high school friends and also because you believe in that line from Clarissa that goes: “maturity is a boring state of mind.” Well it’s not true. You’ll have far more fun in college than you ever did in high school and after that, even more so. And the friends get better too. You won’t even be in touch with those people you can’t bear to lose now by 2010. I know this because that’s where I am. I’m you, only 11 years older. And I’m completely different from you in so many ways. Better ways, so don’t worry.

You will realize that you’re not as fat and ugly as you think you are now and learn to wear girly clothes and put on make up. You will climb a mountain, ride an elephant, go rafting in the river, drive a go-kart and a jetski, row a dragonboat, be an extra in a movie and so much more. You will learn how to swim and how to cook but you will not overcome your fear of heights, but you will still parasail and want to skydive (I hope our 40 year old self confirms that she has done this). You will overcome your fear of public speaking and future bosses will assign you as the default host for a lot of events. And you won’t just host but also sing, dance and act. The first step to this transformation begins when you join an org called SALT. I won’t divulge any more details so that the surprise that comes will be just as sweet.

I’m happy to report that your requirement for your future job will be fulfilled – an internet connection. The internet will be a big thing in the future, so getting that Mailcity email add is a good first step. You’ll also achieve your dream of having your own computer and you’ll use it to do lots of things you’ll enjoy like editing pictures, making videos and writing. You will always love writing, so keep doing that.

You haven’t been anywhere much, so you will make up for it once you start earning. But first – you’ll be leaving your hometown. A sign will come in the form of a text message, an invitation that will give you the urge to do something risky. But you will feel in your gut that it’s a “now-or-never situation” and you will be right. So take the risk. It will pay off in ways you cannot even begin to comprehend right now. Independence will taste just as sweet as you imagined it to be. Then you’ll be all over the Philippines – Bohol, Baguio, Boracay, and a lot of other places that don’t start with a B. You’ll also visit other countries and eventually decide to take yet another risk and move to a country that you’re not even aware of now.

I wish I could assure you that your love life would be just as peachy, but you’ll be single for a long time thanks to this boyfriend whom you’ll meet in college. He’ll break your heart so badly, it’ll take you years to completely get over – not him, but the trauma of the experience. It would be easy to tell you his name so you can avoid him, but if you did and fell in love with some other guy, maybe you would never leave him and then I wouldn’t be where I am right now and the thing is, I kind of like being where I am right now. So I’ll leave it at that.

You will have other failures too, like you’ll flunk a major exam (and I’m not talking about the school kind) and you will have a rough time during the recession, and you will cry as hard as when that boy in previous paragraph breaks your heart. But you will get over the pain of each one, I promise, and you will pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and learn something from each experience. Don’t let what I just said scare you, though, because overall, you will do just great. Brace yourself (these words will make you laugh years from now). Look forward to your life. Maturity is an exciting state of mind!

Love,
You. I mean Me. Oh you know what I mean!

May 2010

Dear Me,

16 seems such a long time ago and I had to rack my brains to remember what you are going through right now. 4th year high school? You don’t realize it now, but you are extremely lucky you actually enjoy high school and that it won’t leave you with traumatic memories. Just remember that teachers don’t like to be called monsters (especially if it will be published in the school paper!) and to keep quiet when everyone is making fun of your English teacher – “hitting the hay” will always be a memorable phrase for you and your good friends, but remember there won’t be any need to cry since you are innocent (I hope)!

Speaking of your friends, remember to keep in touch with your closest friends after high school. P will surprise you in a couple of years. Remember to be there for him; he will always be your best friend. I know that there are a couple of girls in class who don’t like you, but keep on being oblivious to them… You are right; they really don’t matter in your world. 😉 I know you don’t like anyone not liking you and that you have always been a people-pleaser, but if there’s a piece of advice I want to share with you through this letter, please, choose your friends. You do not have to be friends with everyone.

Show your love to our parents and sisters more often; you will miss them terribly when you go away to college. Would you believe it if I tell you this would be the last full year you would be spending at home? You would only be returning for vacations once you graduate from high school, so relish every moment you have at home. Savor the breakfast you eat every morning! Give Mommy and Daddy a good night kiss every night. Spend your Saturdays chatting with Mommy. Lie down on Daddy’s stomach more often, and enjoy washing the dishes at his office every lunch time. Be more patient with your youngest sister; she does need your love and care and you will miss seeing her grow up when you leave. Keep an open mind and talk with your older sisters often; you will need each other to get through life. Never forget that.

Yes, yes, I know you are waiting for me to say something about your love life. I assure you that you will fall in love with someone who will be just perfect for you. In fact, you have met him already by now! No, don’t look around your classroom, you won’t find him there. Although you will have 2 semi-relationships with 2 of your high school classmates (one would be your first MU-type of relationship, the other your first official boyfriend), you won’t end up with either of them. And boy, are we glad of that! Sometimes your taste in men could really be the weirdest. Hihi. But this time, when you are truly ready to be in a real relationship, you chose correctly. He will make you feel like a princess, and you will know how it feels to love and be loved because of him. It will be tough, and there will be obstacles too. We don’t know yet how your story will end with him, but no matter how it ends, it is all worth it.

It will be rough when you graduate from college and you are trying to find your place in the working world with limited resources. There will be tears, and you will feel utterly lost. But hold on to your faith, to your love for your family, and everything will be just how it is supposed to be. The future holds so much for you! Life will continue to surprise us at every turn.

Love,
Me (in 9 years!)

PS. Don’t forget to enjoy college! Nowhere else will you find all the handsome guys so densely concentrated ever again :p