Funny Friday: Instant Communicator Edition

If you think Finance folks are boring people who spend most of their days just frowning at their Excel files, you’d be wrong. Sometimes, these happen in our Microsoft Communicator instant messages.

Me : You can try S’s key
H : Oh where is it?
Me : Here with me. Quick come get it before he discovers it’s missing.
H : LOL.
Me : Did you return it? Did you dust off your fingerprints??
H : Okay, dusting off fingerprints and killing off witnesses now. Meaning you, Dee. I’m sorry I need to kill you.. you know too much.

Me : Did you hear about Anthony Hopkins emailing the cast of Breaking Bad, all praises about it?
H : Yeah I think I read it on 9gag or somewhere.Is it really true?
Me : I dunno. Could’ve been invented. Hard to trust anything on the internet these days.
H : Haha yeah.. I actually read an article saying that the Paul Walker death news was a hoax.
Me : OMG. But he really is dead!
H : Yeah. I got the hoax of a hoax on my FB feed.
Me : Hahaha OMG that’s like Inception!

He Found Direction

Me : I told M that R just got a tattoo and she said maybe he’s a member of a gang. LOL. Is he??
H : No! Look at the tattoo. It’s a compass. Quite nice, I must say.
Me : Oooh a compass. Why? What does it mean?
H : He found direction in his life after he met me.
Me : UMMMMMMMM.
H : What? It’s true. I tell him where to go to find the break. Hahahaha.

Me : Hey R. I asked H what your tattoo means. And he said it’s a compass because you found direction in your life after you met him. What can you say about that?
R : It ‘s true. I have never felt that there is so much meaning and purpose in life.

I Can See the Future

H: Hey homie how come you have financials for the 20th too? Haha statements out already?
Me: OK that does it. My head is not working anymore.
H: Haha I was like oh my god… the wise can foresee the future. Please teach me your ways.
Me: I deleted the 20th one before people find out my secret, that I can see the future. But actually it’s not me it’s my cat.
H: How so??!?! Did your cat tell you you’re gonna meet an awesome homie!?!?!
Me: No he warned me that I would meet a team mate who will seem like an awesome good guy but who will kill me with a knife. So I’ve been avoiding G. Turns out it’s you he was meowing about.
H: You mean you can talk to your cat? And poor G, always coming across as the bad guy. Muahahahahaha.