Over the weekend, this Scumbag Steve happened:
I’m sure she’s better off without him and she knows that, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt right now. Because it does. And though getting dumped hurts whatever time of year it may happen, I think it’s even more painful when it happens right before the most romantic holiday of the year.
So we spent the weekend comforting her. How do you comfort a someone who is brokenhearted?
(1) Let her cry.
There’s a saying that goes: “when tears are on the outside, the inside is healing.” The healing process starts with crying. If your friend doesn’t cry, she may be in denial. That’s not healthy. Listen to sad songs, watch sad movies, make her talk about the breakup. You don’t need to say words of comfort, just hold her and sit or lie next to her and let her cry it out.
Of course there’s a threshold for this. The first night, or week, maybe month?
(2) Bring booze or chocolates. Or both.
Chocolates are scientifically proven to boost your mood, so your friend needs this. And booze… it just makes you feel better too, doesn’t it?
(3) Distract her.
Distraction, as a coping method, is totally underrated. Talk about other things that will get her mind off the breakup, and try to get her to laugh. Watch a movie or TV show if you can’t think of anything, or you can do what I did and read your funniest blog posts out loud… in a British accent. After you’ve had several shots of raspberry vodka.
(4) Show her the silver lining.
This is tricky – only do this if she herself is trying to do so. If she’s not, DON’T. Now is not the right time. Wait for it. But when she seems ready, recite all the motivational quotes you know. That she’s better off without him. That everything happens for a reason. Then tell her about the story of your friend who got jilted 2 months before her wedding and ended up meeting her future husband on the day of her supposed wedding. She, too, will meet the right one for her someday.
(5) Just be there for her.
This is the most important thing. She just needs to know that even though one scumbag has abandoned her, not everyone else has. You don’t even need to do anything special (like when Ted made a special Christmas lights display for Robin in HIMYM – what a sweet gesture). Just make time for her, be there when she needs someone to hang out with. I once volunteered to stay with another heartbroken friend for a week so she wouldn’t feel lonely.
Check out this lovely Scottish lass. Go on, then, say hello and make a new friend!
“Initially I decided to blog simply for something to do over summer. I started by documenting what I was doing over my holidays, it was sort of like an online diary. But once summer ended I carried on doing it. I had got a lot more readership than I had ever expected and I hoped to keep it up. Blogging is something I love doing and I would LOVE to make it a sort of job. So that’s what I’m doing now. Continuing to grow my readership, and my little blog in the hopes of making something of it.
However, I’m determined not to lose focus. As much as I would love it to grow and grow and grow, I’m not doing it in order to become a big name. I’m doing it because I enjoy it, and growing it and connecting with my readers is something that comes out of that. I’ve had the most amazing experience so far and I’ve met so many wonderful people and I don’t want it to end just yet. So, for the forseeable future, I shall continue blogging and telling you all about the little things in my life which I love. I do hope you decide to join me on my journey.”
And then shake your head when she takes him back…
These are some good ways to help a friend cope with a breakup. And it sounds like she is definitely better off without him!
You are a great friend! x
Thanks! And yes, booze and chocolates FTW!
She really is!
Thanks! x
LOL! That has happened to me, yes. So now I am more careful about what I say about my friends' recent exes in case they get back together.
Everybody needs a friend like you, Dee! By which I mean one that brings booze and chocolates when bad things happen 🙂 lol. Seriously though that's really kind of you.
Great tips. Comforting a friend after a break up is so hard!
Great tips. Break-ups suck, and as much as we all know deep down that things end to make room for better things to come along, it just doesn't help to ease the pain in that moment. Hope she's healing well, although with friends like you it would be hard not to! xo
Haha! Thanks!
Yes indeed!
She's getting there. Thanks! xx
She really is!
Great tips. Comforting a friend after a break up is so hard!
Great tips. Break-ups suck, and as much as we all know deep down that things end to make room for better things to come along, it just doesn't help to ease the pain in that moment. Hope she's healing well, although with friends like you it would be hard not to! xo
Thanks! And yes, booze and chocolates FTW!
You are a great friend! x
Thanks! x
And then shake your head when she takes him back…
Haha! Thanks!
Yes indeed!
These are some good ways to help a friend cope with a breakup. And it sounds like she is definitely better off without him!
Everybody needs a friend like you, Dee! By which I mean one that brings booze and chocolates when bad things happen 🙂 lol. Seriously though that's really kind of you.
She's getting there. Thanks! xx
LOL! That has happened to me, yes. So now I am more careful about what I say about my friends' recent exes in case they get back together.