Most of my officemates give me THAT look whenever I unwrap a sandwich for lunch. They seem to have this idea ingrained into their heads that a meal is never complete without rice and that anyone (me, in this situation) who would do without rice would be better off sticking a knife into herself rather than prolonging the agony.
They also harbor the idea that I am a borderline anorexic. I am not! Anorexics are underweight, and anyone can see that I’m not.
Besides, I’m eating a perfectly healthy meal. My tuna, lettuce, tomato and cheese on wheat bread has it all – protein, veggies, dairy and carbs.
Nothing After Six
My battle with weight began a few years ago, when I was a college sophomore. Back then I was a chubby girl who wore t-shirts and guy’s pants and who thought that wearing a medium-sized (and therefore semi-bodyfit) t-shirt or any blouse (preferably something my mom could also fit into) was already “sexy.”
Then my friend Maya made a decision that would change my life forever. “I’m going on a diet,” she said.
We decided to use the “tried-and-tested” nothing-after-six diet, and if you have ever experienced eating nothing for 12 hours, you’d know how un-fun this is.
I was constantly complaining of back pains and migraines, but I kept at it.
A few weeks later, when Maya, Zenie and I found ourselves in a boutique, I tried on a body-fit blouse and it didn’t look gross on me.
“Wow! I didn’t know you were sexy!” exclaimed Zenie, upon seeing my tapered waist which had remained hidden under big shirts and loose blouses all these years but which the blouse’s clingy fabric now revealed.
“Buy that blouse!” they insisted.
“Are you nuts?” I retorted. “I feel like a bulging suman in this thing. I can’t even breathe.”
“No, it complements your figure,” they argued.
After a few minutes of insisting that I did not and I could and it really does, I gave in and bought my first “girlash” blouse which marked the beginning of a new me.
A few days later, when I wore that blouse, I couldn’t walk down a hall without a friend saying something. “I didn’t recognize you!” “Wow, is that you?” “Are you wearing a girdle under that blouse?”
Spurred by this positive response, I kept on losing weight until I was no longer the butt of “pig” jokes.
Gone was the rugged girl in boyish get-up. In her place was a lady in form-fitting girly blouses and butt-hugging jeans and Capris.
An Apple a Day
But “thin” still wasn’t a word that could be used to describe me. That is, until a year later.
People suddenly stopped me in hallways, looks of incredulity on their faces. Not because it was the first time they saw me in a fitted blouse, coz it was a norm for me by then. They stopped me even though I was wearing something as normal as my school uniform.
“You’re so thin!” “Drink milk.” “Do you eat?” “You’ve been under a lot of stress, I can tell.” “You looked nicer a week ago.”
In a week, I had lost more weight than I did in all my months spent dieting altogether. And I wasn’t even making a conscious attempt to lose weight. I was, however, very conscious of the fact that I had just lost something else – my boyfriend.
My first broken heart kept me busy crying at all hours, so much so that I had time for little else – eating included. I ate an apple a day (this and only this) and kept the fats away.
But I was oblivious to this fact, wrapped up in my misery, until a few days later when Maya and Zenie and I were once again in a boutique. Zenie and I tried on the same blouse in different colors.
Maya took one look at us and went, “Whoa! You’re thinner than Zenie!” I stared at Zenie’s svelte form and for the first time, was stunned. Really?
New Pact
I wish I could say, “And I retained that form and lived happily ever after.” But this is real life. Years later, I found myself part of the workforce.
Officemates took a look at my ID pic and asked, “Is that you?”
“Yes. My hair is short. Now it’s long. That’s why I look different.”
“Yeah… and you’re sexy here.”
HUH? This from looking at a 1×1 pic taken of me a few months before. Alarm bells start ringing in my head. Somebody break my heart quick!
So the battle has begun once again.
A couple of weeks ago, Maya and I realized that we were back to our overweight selves and made a pact to lose 10 lbs in two months. The one who does not will have to pay the one who does.
That’s the reason why we’ve been getting up at the crack of dawn everyday since then to walk briskly to a park near Greenbelt and jog a couple of lots around a 2-block perimeter.
Now Maya just recently wowed all when she lost about 20 lbs. She looked fabulous, really. Unfortunately when she moved into our apartment, she has gained a lot of the lost weight back. Why? Because of temptation in the form of our housemates who are forever eating. Sometimes, it’s better to be alone.
As to when this battle is gonna end…that’s one question I can’t answer. Perhaps as long as people in our society are cruel enough to torment those who are “healthy.”
In the meantime, to paraphrase an old commercial, goodbye rice! And hopefully, goodbye, fats!