So for Ann’s birthday we decided to watch a movie and they decided to pick Final Destination 5. When I first found out, I thought they were joking. But they weren’t. Like the lead guy in the movie, I also had a premonition that bad things were going to happen. Too bad I didn’t follow my initial instinct of running away from the cinema. It’s my most terrible cinema experience to date, easily topping that time that Gelle and I innocently watched Sweeney Todd at Caloy’s suggestion and ended up so traumatized that we had to watch another movie – 27 Dresses – just to get our hearts to stop hurting.
I’m familiar with the Final Destination series, I saw one of them on TV, actually, but the small screen is more tolerable than the larger than life cinema screen. The story is really ridiculous, I kept complaining that the script lines were LAME, including some of those scenes that I actually got to see with both eyes open. But the parts I hated the most were the gruesome deaths, and the buildup to them; you’re already so nervous even before they actually die. Like in these scene with the gymnast, the camera kept focusing on so many items that you don’t know which one would cause her death – the ceiling fan falling on her, the screw that she would step on, the electric shock from the skinned wire with the puddle of water. In the end, she died because someone else landed on the screw that caused some powder to fly into her eyes and made her fly off the trapeze (okay, I have no idea what it’s called) and land in a cracked twisted heap on the floor. The way she looked in the end was pretty comical actually. I mean, people don’t CRACK like that after a small fall like that. I mean come on, what is this, a comic book? And it wasn’t just that, but all the other deaths. I would have laughed if it wasn’t so horrible.
All six of us who watched the film spent most of it cringing with our eyes closed behind our fingers. Ann even had her body completely turned sideways and we giggled as we told her, “Happy birthday Ann!” Then I jokingly told Cate, who was sitting next to her, “If this is your idea of a birthday treat, Cate, do me a favor and don’t get me anything on my birthday.” We contemplated leaving the cinema in the middle of the film but decided to sit it through to the end. My heart hurt even way after we had left the cinema and rode the MRT to Orchard station. The pain only subsided after we’d had some retail therapy in Lucky Plaza and Forever 21.
But don’t mind me, I’m just a silly little girl. Maybe you would enjoy that film. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.
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