“I’m going home next month,” a friend of mine announced some time ago. “Ugh.”
Well that wasn’t the typical reaction of an OFW (Overseas Filipino Worker) about going home, so we asked her why she didn’t seem happy about it.
“I’m dreading it,” she explained, her unhappiness etched on her face, “because it will be for my younger sister’s wedding and all my relatives from both sides will be there.”
“Oh no!” I gasped, as I realized the horror of what she will be going through. “All the questions! The and-what-about-you-when-will-you-get-marrieds?”
“And the ‘Why don’t you have a boyfriend? At your age?'” she added. “‘You must be overly picky!'”
“I’m so sorry, girl, I know exactly what you’re feeling,” I sighed sympathetically. “Why just this week I woke up one morning to find that I had been tagged on my clan’s Facebook group. Apparently I was the oldest non-married one among my cousins, and I was breaking records in our family history because no one had ever married above my age before. That wasn’t a good morning at all.”
I have 85 first degree cousins, and I’m already the 65th one, so this means at least 64 of my cousins are already married and tsk-tsking the fact that I’m still not. Yes that isn’t a typo. I really do have 85 first-degree cousins. On my father’s side alone. Including me and my brother, that makes 87 grandchildren. Can you imagine the reunions?
I actually don’t mind being single all that much. If I didn’t know that there was supposed to be a “norm” or a married life to aspire to, I would be perfectly content with my life. But moments like these…
Ugh indeed.
All the single ladies… we hate this pressure.
But then again, are we the only ones to feel the pressure?
I remember one confession another friend of mine made. She’s married, and she said that it drove her up the wall when people kept asking her when she was going to have a baby and sometimes gave unsolicited advice on how to conceive one. “Put your legs up after coitus!” “Don’t wash down there!” I mean seriously, can you believe people actually go around saying these sorts of things without you asking them? Yes, she does want to have a baby, and yes, they are trying, but must everyone really rush her into making one and being all judgy when she doesn’t?
And after she does have a child, does it stop there? No of course not. Then the questions go, “When is Elizabeth going to have a brother?” And when you give birth to three more girls, they will keep asking you when you’re going to have a son, to carry on the father’s name. And when you do have that son, of course it still doesn’t stop there, are you kidding? Then the pressure is about how well these kids do in school, then later on, their careers, and then they will eventually ask you why Lily is not yet married at the age of 30 and when she will give you grandchildren.
Does it ever stop???
Maybe.
*All photos taken from Someecards.com.
—;<@
This post is part of the A to Z Challenge, a blog hop that goes through the alphabet for all the days of April except Sundays. I have decided to go with the theme of Alliterations.
87!! EIGHTY SEVEN!?!? I wouldn't go to the wedding either!! 87!!<br />Connie <br />A to Z-ing to the end<br /><a href="http://www.peanutbutterandwhine.com/" rel="nofollow">Peanut Butter and Whine</a>
Your reaction is priceless. 😀
I am standing up and clapping for this post. Thank you for writing it. I know the feeling. And I cannot believe how many cousins you have! Holy smokes!
Thanks! It needed to be written. Holy smokes indeed!
Wow, Dee, this is a powerful post. It's one of those things that's so true, so "normal" but you write it in a way that makes it even more clear and obvious. Great job. <br /><br />Bradley Charbonneau's <a title="Pass the Sour Cream" href="http://passthesourcream.com/tag/a-to-z/" rel="nofollow">Pass the Sour Cream A-Z Challenge</a>.
Thank you!
Oh dear… So sorry for the pressure. My daughter Erin didn't marry until a week before her 33 birthday. It was hard for her since all of her friends were married with kids by then. She made the most of her life by accomplishing good things but it was hard. When she did find her true love they are the cutest couple ever. When they couldn't have children they adopted. Don't let peer
Thanks so much for sharing your daughter's inspiring story! I'm so happy for her.
Wow, now that is a lot of first cousins and I feel for you, I have no idea why people feel it is appropriate to ask "When are you…." I try so hard not to ask such a question. Lucy from <a href="http;//www.lucysreality.com/" rel="nofollow">Lucy's Reality</a>
I guess people just don't realize how annoying it is.
Oh the baby pressure, I've been there! <br /><br />My husband and I were married 3 years when I got pregnant. Everybody was judging me for having fertility problems. They didn't know I was on birth control. The people! tsk tsk.
Tsk tsk indeed! The baby pressure is more prevalent in Philippine society. If you're married, you're expected to produce babies.
Dee-<br />I think that you will find that the people applying the pressure just want you to be happy.<br /><br />If there is one thing I have learned, it is being happy is something that <i>you</i> choose to do…or not.<br /><br />Wait until you get to the age where you are the ONLY single person at the wedding.
Hmmm… perhaps.
I just nominated you for the Liebster Blog Award! Congratulations, I really enjoyed your writing. More about it here: <a href="http://passthesourcream.com/liebster/" rel="nofollow">Liebster</a>. You don't have to accept it (there's some "work" to do!), but please let me know either way so I can keep your link in my post.<br /><br />Bradley Charbonneau's <a title="Pass the
Hi Dee, 87 = just on your dad's side. I love the way you tell like it is. Sometimes the pushy people have no idea how to discuss anything outside of their own every day life. I just answer questions with questions in this case. When are you getting married? – How are you and your husband/wife doing? – When are you having children? – How are your little angels/monsters going? Mind you