Ashten’s post about being single during the holidays made me realize why I get mixed feelings of happiness and sadness during Christmas. It’s because, as she pointed out – Christmas, New Year, and Valentine’s are holidays for people in relationships. Or, as a character said in the movie Love Actually – “Christmas is a time for people with someone they love in their lives.”
I wanted to make this post a list of pro’s and con’s about being single, but I realized I already made a pros list a long time ago, which you can read here, so as not to be redundant, I’ll just make the con’s list. And besides, Ashten already made a rocking pro’s list complete with Ryan Gosling GIFs. Do go check that out.
So here we go:
(1) Sometimes you get lonely.
You get mixed feelings of happiness and sadness during Christmas time. I always feel this way during Christmas and I never really understood why that was until now. I’m a bit slow, eh? Yes, I am happy being single, but as what that guy from Love Actually says:
So it’s time for some honesty around here. Yes, sometimes it does suck to be single. Even though you have friends and family who love you, you sometimes still feel a pang of loneliness, a pinch of longing for a different kind of love that they can’t give.
(2) People treat you like you have some kind of disease.
But seriously. This episode of How I Met Your Mother comes to mind, when the hotel desk guy pities Ted when he finds out he is single.
When people find out you’re single, you either get the look of pity – “Hang in there, you’ll meet someone eventually!” or get treated like some sort of pariah – “Nobody wants you? There must be something wrong with you!” or get blamed for your “condition” – “Stop being so choosy, that tall, dark, and handsome guy doesn’t exist!” I don’t like those kinds of guys, actually, but thanks.
(3) You start wondering if maybe those people are right.
At some point you will start questioning yourself, what if they’re right? Is there something wrong with you? Maybe you’ll die alone. Your self esteem plummets, and you end up sobbing while drinking an entire bottle of wine by yourself.
Are you really too choosy? Maybe you should find anyone! So you agree to being set up. Or you join an online website. But while some first dates are awesome, most of the time they are just plain awkward.
(4) At work, people will assume that since you’re single, it’s okay for you to go on overtime because no one is waiting for you.
“Oh, let her do that coz I have a date/my kids need me and she obviously has nothing/no one.” As if you don’t have a life too. I really hate it when people assume that their time is more important than yours just because you’re single! What, they think you don’t have a right to work-life balance too? You get paid the same salary so they shouldn’t use their status as an excuse to treat others unfairly.
(5) Well-meaning friends will always try to pair you off with every single guy they know.
And on no other grounds except the fact that you are both single. “Oh, Talpulano is single too! You would be great together!” Ummmm no.
(6) Your friends who get hitched will ditch you.
A close friend meets a boy, and she suddenly forgets about you. An excellent movie comes out and you want to watch it with her like you used to, but now you can’t because of course she’s watching it with the love of her life, duh. Nevermind that you were in her life far longer than this guy. He is more important and you need to deal with that, missy. And yes, they’d love to group date with another couple, not a sad third wheel like you, so this is why this belongs in the it-sucks-to-be-single list.
(7) You only have yourself to take care of you.
This comic says it all:
There is no one around to take care of you when you’re sick, or to come to your rescue when you’re in trouble, or even just help you assemble that double decker bed. There is no one specific person you report your day to, for that matter. Yes you do have friends or family to do that to, but they are not required to deal with your crap. And worst case scenario – if you die, people might actually not know about it until days or even years after.