In case you didn’t know, I have a podcast called Banana Q: a Filipino-Flavored podcast. Yesterday’s episode was about the cost of a Philippine diploma, not just the peso amount but the blood and sweat and tears that accompany it, especially for the typical Filipino teenager who comes from a poor family. You can listen to the episode below.
Below is a transcription of our listener’s letter which I had translated to English with her permission:
Hello Rey and also to Roma,
I just want to thank you and your guest, Roma, for this episode you made. This is the first episode of your podcast that I listened to. I learned and related so much to it. Really enjoyed it as well.
I love how you guys were able to talk about this conversation in a lighter note, but still very deep and meaningful. I love the works of Brene Brown as you both do and right before you even mentioned her, I was already thinking about it.
Thank you for the hard questions that you asked Roma. And Roma, thank you for the clear and practical lessons to help us.
What was just read was an actual email from Diane, one of our listeners. Her email gave us the idea for an episode about the price of a Philippine college diploma –
I relate to Roma’s story of being a spendthrift. I also celebrate my birthday for the whole month. But I do my shopping splurges on Christmas and instead of makeup, I bought clothes, shoes and bags. This was me as a teen in high school, 14yrs old to be exact.
I also had that weird feeling of “what if for once, I find out how much I spend when I splurge?” So I did and what Roma said about what she felt, I could relate and I felt it, too. I was very disappointed in myself but that was the truth that I had to accept. There was nothing I could do. Numbers don’t lie and what was done was done.
As I was moving forward from it and making better choices, it was around the time that our friend whom we called Kuya (or big brother) was about to graduate. We were very happy and excited for him and as we asked him which school he would pick for college and what course, he told us that he could not go to college, because graduating high school was hard enough to get through.
Throughout the years of our friendship that he was not available to go out with us, go on outings, or visit the houses of our classmates and schoolmates, he was working so he could support his studies. No matter how much they strived as a family, there were really days that they didn’t have food on the table.
So my already disappointed-self got stirred up. From disappointment, I started to hate my choices, especially knowing that what I spent was as big as the cost of a year of college at our state university.
So at 14, that was my financial awakening and not only that, I learned what was truly valuable to me. I was so mad at myself and the things that I bought that I said “I bought so much stuff that I thought was important, but it turns out I was just collecting trash” in my journal entry.
If I had known about Kuya B’s situation, I would not have spent that way. I would have given the money to him instead. There was so much guilt and even more shame. I was so embarrassed about it, I couldn’t even share it with my friends at the time.
I asked my parents, they agreed. But they took it back because when it was my turn to go to college, College Assurance Plan went bankrupt so I lost my college money. Also because our family’s primary provider was my dad who was in the US while we were in the Philippines, his job situation became unsure during the 2008 market crash.
So I vowed to help him financially in any way I could so he could go to school. I budgeted my allowance so I could save something to give to him. I studied hard because I negotiated with my parents that if I could get an academic scholarship in school, they would give me the money that was saved for my tuition fee. Kuya B got his own scholarship, had his part time job, we even had an e-load business and also sold school supplies in school. I competed in contests that had monetary prizes. It’s funny how I joined everything: Essay, Quizbee, dance, even beauty pageants. I won them all…. except the beauty pageants.
I was legit money-greedy that time because it was really needed. It wasn’t an easy sailing life. I cried so much especially when there were things that I really wanted but I had to stop myself and sacrifice what I wanted for the greater good.
It was all worth it because we graduated at the same time.
He’s been working already and went on to get his masters, and is now studying for his doctorate level.
Being honest with yourself is the most painful thing to do, but it leads to self-awareness that sparks change. Because I came to that thought of : Is this all I’m going to be? Are these material things really going to make me happy throughout my life? is there anything more to me than just a materialistic person?
This experience has really changed me within and has pointed me to the right direction ever since. It gave me a different level of confidence where I said “If I can help someone go through college while I’m in college, then I can definitely do it when I’m earning my own money.”
Since then, I have had college students I support. With Kuya B and my two other high school friends, we were able to make a scholarship program which now has 28 graduates. Currently, we have 23 students still in school.
This has given my life so much joy and fulfillment – something that any material thing can never give.
This is something that I had to painfully accept and eventually, I was finally able to share it.
Your listener,
Diane
And below is a transcript of Kuya C’s story:
But actually, Kuya B’s story is not uncommon in the Philippines. In fact, Rey and I would also not have been able to afford our college education if we had not been lucky enough to qualify for full scholarships. In my college block, more than half of us were on scholarships.
And just like Diane, I also had a friend whom I called Kuya back in college. He’s shy about sharing his story, but he agreed that I could tell it if I hid his name, so let’s call him Kuya C, as in Charo.
I’ll read some words from his old blog post:
“I lost my father when I was nine. He was the former chief of the local police when he was gunned down by a perpetrator still unknown to us until now.
As the sole breadwinner for a family of six children, the cupboard was turned upside down after he was gone. Difficult may not have been an exaggeration of the life we went through without Papang.”
Kuya C was the valedictorian of his high school, but because his family struggled financially, someone with all his potential could not even proceed to college.
So he left his province to try and find work in Zamboanga City, with the ultimate goal of saving up money to self-fund his studies. While there, someone suggested that he apply for a scholarship in Ateneo de Zamboanga University. He managed to get a scholarship from a bank, which was a scholarship that not only paid his tuition fees but also gave him a monthly stipend.
But that was still not enough, because he needed to use that to help pay for his board and lodging, since he was not from the city. Though initially he stayed with his sister who worked as a saleslady in Penshoppe, during his sophomore year she moved to Manila.
But of course, just like Kuya B, he also had Dianes in his life. In a letter he once wrote to me, he thanked me for making his college days a breeze at times, and reminded me that since he could not afford to go to our last acquaintance party, our classmate Lynette and I conspired by collecting money from all our classmates so that we could buy his ticket for him.
He also recently shared in a eulogy he wrote about our classmate Ronald:
“I had the beautiful privilege of being among those blessed by Ronald’s example of kindness and generosity. It had been an uneasy journey financially through college and Nald was among those who readily and willingly lent a helping hand. Whenever he loaned me a sum to get through some tougher days, it usually comes with a treat to Jollibee or Chowking. I was that lucky.”
In our episode 28, I mentioned that one of my most memorable moments in college was when a lot of us were in danger of not graduating on time because of one of our Accounting subjects. Kuya C was one of the most devastated; he sat on the ground outside our classroom and started full on sobbing. I tried to comfort him that it would be okay, but he cried that it was not okay, that unlike me, he could not afford one more year of college and his family depended on him to graduate now so he could work and help them.
So I was really happy when in the end, it all worked out, thanks to the parents who fought the school, and he managed to graduate on time after all. But because the CPA board exam review and the exam itself could only be taken in Manila, he could not afford it – there’s no scholarship for that.
After the deadline on the reservations for the review, his father’s only brother offered help and sent money for his review. Since he was too late to catch the review enrolment and he decided that it was more important that his other siblings continue to go to college, they used that money partly for his siblings’ education instead. So he stayed in Zamboanga and immediately looked for a job while the rest of us continued our Accounting journey in Manila.
It worked out for him after that; he found a job in a bank. Over a year later, after we were done with the board exam and were starving newbies in Makati, he was sent there for work. He stayed long enough to help us scout for an apartment, and this time, he was the one who volunteered to lend us money to buy our furniture and even helped us move in. The tables had turned.
Recently, we lost Ronald, one of our close college friends, someone who was also like a brother to me. Kuya C suggested putting up a scholarship fund in his memory, and we close friends of course wanted to contribute because all of us – including Nald – were scholars and we want to pay it forward as well as honor our late friend, whom we all love and miss terribly. We are thinking of calling it the Ronald Roz memorial scholarship, and look forward to making a difference in a young Filipino’s life by paying the price for his or her college diploma.
I really hope we end up following through on our plan because I have actually long thought about paying it forward.
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