I know that my title isn’t technically an alliteration but do you know how difficult it is to find X words?
I thought of writing about Xanthic X-men. Xanthic means yellowish, so I was going to write about wondering why the movie Wolverine doesn’t wear the comic book yellow costume, but even though I love X-Men and fell in love with the movie Wolverine, it’s just not a topic that’s right for me. My fellow A-Zer Mark, who runs Left and Write, would be so much better at it, his A-Z theme being obscure comic book characters.
This blog is not about triple X rated films, so don’t panic, okay. Neither is it about the film starring Vin Diesel. I haven’t seen either one. Rather, the title pertains to Roman numerals – 30. My age right now. I do think I have been clever about using X, if I do say so myself. LOL.
Anyway. 30. Around this time last year, I was depressed about the fact that I was about to turn 30. I even blogged about it in a title that I could have used for T day in this challenge: Turning Thirty.
The title on the calendar sounds familiar because it came from the movie 13 Going on 30 and I chose it because 2012 is the year I turn the big 3-0. Ugh. Turning 30 is a big deal, maybe because it’s a completely new digit. When you’re in your twenties you’re considered young, but thirties? Nope. That’s why turning thirty is a scary thought, one that freaks me out in a “I must put on tons of age-defying products on my face now panic panic panic” and “Where did my youth go???? Why yesterday I was just joining the workforce!!!!” and “What am I doing with my life???” and “Omigod I’m 30 and I am still not on the right path!!!” kind of way. I’m not kidding when I say that it seriously makes me panic at times, keeps me up some nights, adding to the age lines that I am so afraid of. (OMG is that a wrinkle???) It’s funny because I never felt that I was getting older till the moment I turned 29 when I realized I was one year away from being OLD. That’s when it hit me.
I was seriously depressed about this almost all of last year, no kidding. There were countless bouts of crying in bed and just a general sadness and dread that permeated my entire being as I dragged myself through life while being in an existential crisis.
I wasn’t alone in reacting like this. I had friends who went through the same thing too. And who can forget that hilarious Friends episode, The One Where They All Turn Thirty?
In that episode, Rachel turns 30 and she doesn’t feel happy about it. Joey says, “Come on, Rach, turning thirty’s not that big a deal.” Ross looks at him and sarcastically asks, “Oh really, is that how you felt when you turned thirty?”
A flashback to that moment. All the friends are gathered around Joey about to blow the candles on his cake as he looks up and wails, “Why God, WHY? We had a deal, let the others grow old, not me.” He then sobs into Phoebe.
Back to the present, everyone is finally enjoying Rachel’s birthday feast as she asks, “Is it just me? Am I overreacting to this?”
“No, Rach, it’s not just you,” Chandler responds as he cuts through his food. “My thirtieth birthday certainly wasn’t that much fun.”
A flashback to that moment. Chandler is about to blow the candles on his cake when his moment is interrupted by Joey. “And not Chandler!” He wails, continuing his conversation with God. “We’re all getting so old. Why are you doing this to us??”He then sobs into a wall.
No, Rach. It’s definitely not just you.
You can check out that clip here. Still makes me laugh after all these years.
I guess turning a completely new digit older has an effect on people, as I saw on an episode of Modern Family. Cam’s birthday falls on leap day, so he insists that his 40th birthday is actually his 10th. When his partner Mitchell tells him to accept that he is a 40 year old man, the truth hits Cam.
“I’m forty! I’m forty!” he starts crying, leaning against Mitchell for support. “I’ve done nothing with my life!” he screams.
See. It is a thing.
I tried to get over the depression, though, by planning celebrations. I could have gone with just one party like my friend Yves did when it was her turn, but I decided to break it down to different ones for my different sets of friends.
Part 1: Hungry Games With office friends @ Botanic Gardens |
Part 2: Wine and Candles Intimate dinner at home on the day itself |
Part 3: Picnic in the Park With Little Zamboanga friends @ East Coast Park |
Part 4: Prive Brunch With the Ramen Girls @ Prive Drive |
I had loads of fun at each event and it took my mind off the horrible fact that I was old. Distraction as a coping method is totally underrated. Then when it was over, I remembered and got depressed again. I can’t remember how long I stayed like this.
Eventually, though, I finally accepted the reality. It helped when I realized that a lot of people I admire are in their thirties and they’re fine, aren’t they? In fact some people didn’t even find success and happiness till they were in their thirties. There are a lot of perks to being older, such as wisdom and wealth. I now understand more and am able to enjoy more things that my younger self couldn’t.
So now I am happy to report that I am now fine with being 30 and I’m back to my old (uh oh… there’s that word again) happy self.
I guess I have 10 more years before that all changes, again.
—;<@
This post is part of the A to Z Challenge, a blog hop that goes through the alphabet for all the days of April except Sundays. I have decided to go with the theme of Alliterations.